Looking For Calm

“While happiness is a lovely place to visit, joy is where we want to live.”
I read a terrific article a few days back about goal-setting, resolutions and happiness-seeking which are just a few of the things that our culture places emphasis on as we launch into a New Year. How can I live a more productive life? Will doing 10-day body cleanse, not having a drop of alcohol or sliver of sugar guarantee that I feel better, happier and healthier? If I go to the gym every night after work, will I be less cranky with my spouse, partner, aging parent or kids? If I tackle 5 things on my to do list, am I going to be feel more productive, less stressed and more on top of my life and responsibilities? (Sorry but I refuse to mention teachers giving up caffeine in this list.) When did all of these things become significant and how did people start associating happiness with them? Aren’t these about achieving gratification quickly rather than increasing our awareness around what makes us feel good? Don’t get me wrong, exercise is significant as is a healthy diet, regular amount of sleep and finding time to engage with friends and family, but it seems that we value the extremes…Happiness or else…or else what? I love the phrase joy is where we want to live. This is going to look different for each of us but as I reflect back over the holiday break, what sticks with me are the small moments where I felt joyful- grateful for time and space among family and friends that made me acknowledge that I am alive and well. Playing soccer with my husband, kids, brother-in-law, his wife and kids until it was too dark to see the ball or the other adults on our team (Yes, the adults took the series 3-0-it will probably be our last year to take the kids). Lying on the floor at the Renwick Gallery watching the amazing shadows of light and color on the wall underneath the ceiling of nets created by an artist. Hearing and singing the opening verse of “Oh Come All Ye Faithful,” at a full church on Christmas Eve, sitting by a warm fire when it was 65 degrees outside and playing a game of spoons with friends, which always results in a wonderful frenzy when the moment comes to start grabbing. It is these moments that sparked joy for me? What were the ones that sparked it for you? Hold them close in the hours, days, and months ahead and draw on them when you need a reminder or a lift.