Looking For Calm

I had every intention of posting this yesterday, but I found with each attempt that my words felt insignificant. I remember September 11th so well. I was teaching across the close at NCS and we were on our way into chapel when there was whispering amongst the teachers that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center. That was all we knew for sure as we entered into that chapel space and listened to our chaplain share what details she could. There was palpable fear, but there was comfort in knowing that we were in each other’s company and that we were praying together.

We returned to our classrooms and waited for parents to arrive to pick up their children. Many of them walked from downtown to get to school because the roads were gridlocked. It took a long time-they arrived frightened and so very grateful to see and hug their daughters. I remember not being able to reach my husband who was across the close at St. Albans. All circuits were busy and it was a terrible feeling looking out of my classroom window and wondering if we were safe and when I would speak to him next.  Were we safe given the national landmark that soared into the sky just a few hundred yards from school? I remember my walk home to our apartment. The sky was the bluest I could ever remember and just a few miles away, a portion of the Pentagon was burning. “How could this happen on a bluebird day like today?” were the words that came into my mind and stayed there. I was 7 ½ months pregnant with our son and the other thought that played over and over again was, “How can we bring a child into the world when events like this are unfolding?” I went inside and watched over and over again the news tapes of those planes crashing into the towers, seeing them crumble and watching people running away from the wreckage, the smoke and the carnage.

Below is a YouTube recording of the Washington National Cathedral’s adult choir singing, Isaac Watt’s hymn, ‘My Shepherd Will Supply My Need.’ There was a National Memorial Service in the Cathedral a few days following September 11^th and the choir performed this hymn. I have attached the link to the hymn below and the text of the words. Listening to this yesterday brought me some comfort as I prayed for the many who lost loved ones on that day and for the many first responders who showed such courage, grace and bravery in the hours, days and weeks that followed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUvxPGxZt-s

My Shepherd will supply my need:

Jehovah is His Name;

In pastures fresh He makes me feed,

Beside the living stream.

He brings my wandering spirit back

When I forsake His ways,

And leads me, for His mercy’s sake,

In paths of truth and grace.

When I walk through the shades of death

Thy presence is my stay;

One word of Thy supporting breath

Drives all my fears away.

Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,

Doth still my table spread;

My cup with blessings overflows,

Thine oil anoints my head.

The sure provisions of my God

Attend me all my days;

O may Thy house be my abode,

And all my work be praise.

There would I find a settled rest,

While others go and come;

No more a stranger, nor a guest,

But like a child at home.