Looking For Calm

We officially said farewell to 2016 several hours ago. Much to the dismay of our thirteen year old daughter, I retreated to bed at 11:30 unable to keep my eyes open for another second. I woke early and have been reflecting on the last year. During this time of discord, unease, fear and anxiety about the incoming administration, I feel compelled to share the stories of three individuals that exemplify the words, “The only thing greater than the power of the mind is the courage of the heart.” (John Nash) The courage of one young girl and two women, who have touched my life, has given me hope for what lies ahead.

I do not personally know Abby Furco or her family, but I have followed their story across the last few years because they were members of our church and of the Janney ES community in Washington, DC where many of our friends’ children go or have gone to school. We have supported and will continue to support TEAM ABBY and the organization SPECIAL LOVE  because the courage this little girl and her family have demonstrated and shared with the world is immeasurable. Abby was sent home last June after her doctors told her family there was nothing more they could do for her in her six year battle against leukemia. Hospice was brought in and they gave Abby just a couple of days to live. Fast forward six months and Abby is not only alive but LIVING. In the months since June, she has celebrated her 10th Birthday, been a flower girl in a dear friend’s wedding, taken a family trip to Italy with her family, attended school, returned to visit friends at Janney ES, and has received personal messages and surprises from Guy Fieri and other chefs from Chopped, her favorite television show. Abby’s story is nothing short of a miracle and the courage that she and her family possess is remarkable. Her mother Patty, father Joe, sisters Maggie and Emily (The Furco Five) have demonstrated faith and strength in the face of incredible adversity.  Rather than turn inward they have shared Abby’s story which has inspired many and their story lives on in the countless lives they have touched.

This past September I attended a four day women’s retreat in Pikesville, Maryland through the Insight Meditation Group of Washington. It was a wonderful respite and refuge. Those of us in attendance had the good fortune of being taught by Tara Brach, Cheri Maples and La Sarmiento- all distinguished teachers in their field of mindfulness and meditation. This retreat was my first experience coming to know Cheri Maples. Cheri is a co-founder of the Center for Mindfulness and Justice in Madison, Wisconsin, a licensed social worker and attorney. She is a Buddhist teacher, veteran police officer of Madison and a peace activist. Cheri has dedicated her life to serving and teaching others about finding peace in one’s heart and that this peace can serve as a conduit for providing justice and compassion to others.

Just six days after our retreat commenced, Cheri was in a horrific and near life ending bicycle accident in her home town of Madison. Cheri’s injuries were critical, and she spent weeks in intensive care on a ventilator surrounded by loved ones. Those closest to her have chronicled her remarkable journey on Caring Bridge and friends and acquaintances from around the world have sent prayers, sat together in sanghas and wished healing on this remarkable woman and teacher. Thich Nhat Hanh, (one of Cheri’s teachers) Vietnamese Zen Monk and founder of the spiritual community Plum Village in France, sent words of hope, prayer and strength. Over two weeks ago, Cheri’s ventilator was removed and just last week she was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital where she will continue her recovery. How does one survive an accident such as this? Cheri and those closest to her would probably say that the collective community from near and far has been instrumental in supporting Cheri’s healing. I would add only that the courage in Cheri’s heart and in those closest to her has kept her living. The love and faith she possesses and belief in all of humanity will, I believe allow her healing to continue.

I lost a dear friend to triple negative breast cancer this past August. Wendy Bailey was a remarkable woman, loving wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. Her husband Joe wrote, “Wendy is no longer in pain and is now among the angels who will live with us always in our hearts.” Wendy demonstrated remarkable courage in her battle with breast cancer. She taught those of us in her orbit (and there were many) that faith, hope and love will endure. She taught us how to be loyal friends and loving moms. Wendy was not opposed to sharing that she was afraid and yet she did not let her fear keep her from loving Joe, Nicholas, Beatrice, her mom and dad, her brother, the rest of her family and her friends. Her faith in God buoyed her in her darkest moments, and I know she trusted in God’s love for her and she believed deep in her heart that God would care for those she loved the most and was leaving behind.

We all can tell stories of individuals or groups in our lives who demonstrate courage and love.  Instead our culture chooses, especially through media, to share stories of fear, violence, oppression and hate. We must continue to promote and celebrate stories of hope, kindness and love. I believe with all of my heart that compassion and peace will endure over violence and hate. We must stand together, practice and love together. Courage of the heart will endure just as it has for Abby, Cheri, Wendy and whomever it is in your life that has shown such spirit. Let us celebrate today and in the days to come all who demonstrate a willingness to share love with no boundaries, especially for those in need of our love. No matter the shadows or the darkness, let us live with the hope that light will continue to shine down on us and grant us peace.